For the past few years I've been through quite a bit of turmoil, but I think I've come out of it pretty well. Aside from my losses, my dad passed away in 2008 from colon cancer. I've always had bad anxiety about cancer, but it definitely got worse after he passed away. My hubby and I live with my mom now and are starting TTC again. I'm excited about the prospect of being pregnant again, but horrified at the same time. We have loosely decided that if we have another loss we are going to seriously pursue adoption. We simply can't continue to go through this.
GETTING pregnant is no problem at all...it's just staying pregnant. There's nothing more frustrating than having a doctor basically tell you they have no idea why this keeps happening. I'm praying that this is "our month." I'm currently 6 DPO and itching to test already, even though I know it is way to early! I'm a test-a-holic!
I feel like I've found a great support in the blog community over the past week or two. People who have been where I've been and truly understand what RPL is like.
I'm so sorry for all of your losses! I can't imagine the courage you must have to go on after the heartbreak. I have only had very early losses and those are bad enough. Having those as well as a 16 week and 19 week loss is unthinkable and so unfair. I'm so sorry for what you've gone through.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry that people judged you for your decision. I agree that it was the kindest decision for both you and for Joshua. I work at a center that consults with patients who are diagnosed with a fetal anomaly. Many who consult with us choose to terminate or induce labor. The world out there truly doesn't understand that this is an option we need to maintain for women! Many do not understand having to make this difficult decision and cannot relate to those who have had the misfortune of choosing to end a doomed pregnancy. I'm both angry and jealous at their naivety, much the same as as fertile women's naivety regarding pregnancy. It's crazy how much experience makes us less likely to judge others.
I wish you the best on your journey!